Eating Eating Eating

I thought i would write a blog about my weight issues as i have been moaning about it for a while

I often get asked ''why do you want to gain weight''
I think in an ever growing society of people who want to be a size zero and with anorexic websites becoming normal surfing for this generations teens, to find someone who actually wants to be bigger than they are is actually bit of a shock to the system for most.
But in truth you will find that most people with CF will be fighting just as hard as most with their diets, only not to cut out the calories but to add them in their food in as many ways as possible.
'CF Tummies' do work work as 'the norm' do. We suffer with malnutrition and extreme weight loss. We are unable to absorb the fat from food due to our pancreas not being able to release the enzyme in which to do so. Every meal and snack has to be supplemented with up to 40 pills which is an artificial version of the pancreas enzymes. The enzyme in the tablet is actually extracted from a pigs pancreas as it is the closest version of our own..sounds lovely...right?!

Even with our 'piggy pills' its still impossible to absorb all the fat, so to counteract this we simply have to eat!...and eat and eat and eat. 3000-4000 calories per day is needed to maintain a healthy weight, it can be even more when you are trying to gain.
So why the constant emphasis on food, well put in laymens terms, everything you do requires calories, walking talking, even breathing.
Our lungs have to work a hell of a lot harder than the average to function and our hearts have to pump faster just to 'breath' so with our lungs using more than the average calories a day, you can see why more calories are needed...to supplement our lungs needs

When infections are rife they love the calories too! If a healthy weight can be maintained whilst well it will mean when an infection rears its ugly head you will have more reserve to fight it with, instead of it taking every ounce of energy you have putting your weight lower and lower...its a constant cycle!
The iller you get the more your weight can suffer so 'feeding' is often used.
This is a small tube that goes up the nose, down the throat and in to the stomach. Although slightly uncomfortable to place the tube its not painful, and is much easier if you are able to do it yourself which thankfully i am, it takes less than a minute to do now, where as it took 10-15 minutes when i first started doing them as i would gag and be sick all the time...not very pleasent, but im a pro now lol :)
A bag of what looks like milkshake is hung up and fed through a pump which releases the feed in to your stomach over an 8 hour period whilst you sleep. The feed i have is 2500 calories. It takes the pressure off of having to constantly eat when you are ill especially if you sleep a lot.

I can go 3-4 days eating nothing, just survivng on  cups of tea with sugar, ill only then start to get hunger pains and ill have a food binge and eat everything in sight, it wouldn't surprise me if i ate all those days missed calories in one sitting of junk food.
I have an unhealthy attitude towards food i know that, I see food as essential treatment, not a pleasure or something i enjoy, maybe as there is always so much emphasis on how much you eat and it is spoken about as much as any other part of my treatment the pleasure of it has been taken away, it can get stressful when im being told im to thin, i must eat more. I do know that and im not happy with the way i look i hate my hip bones sticking out and my spine being prominent but to fit so much fat in to your diet is hard work on top of all the daily treatment i do. As my health has declined my weight has to, it kind of goes hand in hand. When i was weller i loved food i ate all the time, loved cooking and trying out new recipes, eating out with friends, 3 course meals most days but now i actually find it hard to eat as being to full crushes my lungs and makes it even harder to breath, again another cycle!

My current weight is 45kg Im 5'2 so that makes my BMI 18.1
Ideally my BMI should be 23 so i have a way to go yet....